March Madness
not that kind but sorta
March Madness leads to broken hearts and dreams become a reality with amazing buzzer beating shots but I’m not just taking about basketball.
March was horrible and wonderful this year.
It is the first time in 10 years I lost track of the fact that it was Lent because I was busy. Ironically, or not, part of the chaos was because of supporting a Lenten retreat coordinating with a group (I hate group work!) It was a month of sticking to task list and making sure I kept taking my meds because I could NOT afford to have my body give out on me. We all survived.
In the midst of the craziness there were the moments of deep abiding beauty that sprung out of fear and uncertainty like the amaryllis budding after a harsh winter. A friend and I told each other we loved each other for this first time. Not in a romantic way and not in a “love ya” way. But in a way that nourishes a soul, to know that someone knows you and is known by you and cares deeply about you way. Then another person in my life for whom I caused pain two and half years ago called me a “steady friend” on this Good Friday, this 26 anniversary of the murder of my mentor.
Another friendship of decades is being tended to more to see if there is hope of a resurrection after a hard email and conversation.
Today, I learned the official diagnose of my aunt is Lewy Body Dementia and that she will go on Hospice next week. When my uncle texted asking to talk, I prepared myself to be told she had died and then when he told me the diagnosis I felt grief. We know now “what” but we don’t know how long. We know what the path will look like but have no idea how much energy to pack. I was disappointed that she was alive for her and for him and yet relieved I don’t have to deal with that right now.
I also received possible life altering medicine for myself. I cried as I left the doctors office with samples and each morning I have bowed to them with gratitude before I take them. We’ll know more in 27 days.
There are still 45 hours left in March - I wonder what madness can still happen?
Monday my work life will change but it will be April.